great glebe garage sale (2) + "buying mind"

Bought a few small "prizes" for kids for our block party as well as a few small block party games yesterday. Bought no new things today.

The most difficult thing about no-new-things is when it impinges on someone else (birthdays are the best example). Michal was one of the organizers for kid's games for our block party and so we felt we had to buy new things (balloons for water balloons, some rings to play a hoop game, string for three-legged races etc) so that she could organize.

The Great Glebe Garage sale was, as predicted, amazing. Joel was out at 7:00 am and I met him half an hour later. We got our best finds in that first hour but one great treasure trove--a (broken!) chair, old antique wood thing and old quilts all at one place--was found at the very end of the day. I love the festive feel of the day, live music on front lawns and street corners, people's stuff displayed everywhere with that haphazard look of a closet unpacked and spread across the grass. We gave each of the kids $5 to spend and Ben spent his all at once on a stuffed animal that is as big as he is.

The other day Ben went with his friend and his friend's dad to Boomerang (secondhand store with some new stuff close to here). His friend bought a disc shooter and Ben has been longing for one ever since. I told him he could buy something secondhand at Boomerang with his own money and he has been begging me to go ever since. We headed there this afternoon. Disappointment was Ben's first response. There was nothing he wanted! But after looking for awhile he was happy with two things he found (a model car set and a mini-golf game, $6 and $2 respectively). He was trying on (used) shorts when his eye spotted the disc shooter his friend had bought. He asked if he could get it early. I said no. He then came up with fifty or so reasons why he needed it now. His desire and frustration escalated as I kept saying no. I noted two things: 1) it is much easier to say no when we have this no-more-new-things policy. He knows about it and knows it is inflexible; 2) even so, this time Ben--for the first time since we began 2 months ago-- was really really upset about not being able to buy something. And I wondered if he was in some sort of "buying mind" space: just so completely focused on buying something that he couldn't be logical and couldn't let go of this desire *to buy.* I've often noticed that he sometimes gets fixed on wanting something but that it is more about *buying* the thing than playing with it that motivates him. He can beg and beg for something, Joel or I may give in (before our no-buying policy!) and then Ben forgets about this most-desired item in a matter of hours. Interestingly, as soon as we left the store Ben was fine again. You would have never known he'd been utterly beside himself only moments earlier. The trick, I think, is not to get into this buying mentality in the first place.

Andre wrote a comment on my last post that deserves an entirely new posting in response. I'll save that for tomorrow or one day later this week!